Category Archives: Stress

What is Awareness and What is it Good For?

When you feel depressed, awareness does not cheer you up.

When you screw up at work, awareness does not say you’ll do better next time.

When you yell at your kids, awareness does not help you calm down.

When hit a car in parking lot and drive away, awareness does not forgive you.

When you are unfaithful to your spouse, awareness does not justify it.

When you steal some bread from the grocery store, awareness does not take away the guilt.

When you lose a loved one to cancer, awareness does not bring them back.

When you have spent your last penny, awareness does not put money in your account.

When your desperate for a spiritual awakening, awareness does not make it happen.

Awareness is always just…..there.

Doing nothing. Helping no one. Changing nothing for the better.

It is the source of all inaction.

Instead it is infinitely loyal. It will never leave you no matter what despicable act emerges from you. It knows nothing about judgement. It knows nothing of worthiness. It knows nothing about evil. It knows nothing of heaven or hell. It knows nothing about death. It knows nothing about suffering.

It knows nothing.

Absolutely squat.

It is not there to heal you. It is not there to make you live longer. It is not there to make others love you.

So what in the world is awareness good for.

There is one way to find out. And that is to align with it. Be a witness to your perceptions. Open yourself up to feel whatever is brought to the forefront in the field of your observation. Let it wander. Do not focus on any witnessed feeling as more important than another. Allow this freedom to dwell in your mind and body.

If you are walking, listen to the pebbles crunch on the ground as feel the pressure of each step. Notice your head moving from side to side looking at the trees. All of a sudden you turn off the road and onto a walking path. Why did you do that? You don’t recall making that choice. Now you notice each leg moving one after the other. You’re not actively choosing that either.  A random thought pops into your head that you should eat healthier.

Why?

You didn’t decide to think that. Things are happening and you don’t seem to be involved in any part of the process.

Soon you start to notice everything. The way your tongue is resting in your mouth. The way the cool spring breeze is making your eyes water just ever so slightly. The rising of your stomach with every breath.

Then it suddenly strikes you.

I am none of this.

Such intense witnessing has released you. You begin the understand the role of the witness. Your dreams. Your hopes. Your struggles. Your judgement. Your accomplishments. Your failures. Your suffering. All of these things are not “You”. They have simply been witnessed by “You”.

Now, even more dramatically. All of the ways in which you have defined who “You” are begins to fade away. The simple gap between something being inherent to your identity, to simply being observed, causes a cascading avalanche of the former self into oblivion.

Ultimately the realization hits. The me that has ruled this life, does not exist. There is no meat to this ego. There are no obstacles for me to overcome. There are no requirements for my existence. There is nothing that was there before.

There is only awareness.

Death Of An Ego

Anxious poison in my heart
Feels like bursting wide apart
It is my lungs now cut in half
A voice that cracks and never laughs

Stress is squeezed around my head
Misunderstands each comment said
Feel my heart beat through my chest
Makes every step a failed test

Fear of death is what ages me
Blinded from what the sages see
Keeps me naked in the rain
Frozen with no chance to change

Depression’s weight still crushes me
Like ten thousand gravities
Tidal waves on a rocky shore
Pounds with unrelenting force

All is still my fighter dies
Screamed out his final battle cries
Amongst the ruins a surprise
Waves retreat and hopes arise

As I sit and lie in waste
I search for God and test my faith
A glimpse of some new mystery
Captively entices me

First things first I’m not my mind
In any action I can not find
All that happens I must allow
The thin line of the present now

Surrender all and do not define
There is no me and what is mine
All that I am I’ve always been
With no real hate and no real sin

It is not a God of bearded chin
Booming voice nor whitened skin
It is but Love that dwells within
Accepts all things, all forms of kin

Pain and purpose start to merge
All separations must converge
Truth flows through abandoned minds
Frees Love within all humankind