Part of the reason I prefer to spend so much of my time alone is that everything always feels so forced when I am in the company of others. Every single conversation people have with each other comes with an ego-based agenda of some sort.
Maybe they want to sound intelligent. Or come across as funny. Maybe there is something you have that they want. And maybe even someone wants to cultivate their spiritual identity. Perhaps if it happens at work you want to appear hardworking.
Work can be the worst with those superficial conversation staples: Are you keeping busy? Staying out of trouble? Pretty cold out there! We have to think outside the box!
And when I take part in these conversations it brings that side out within me as well. As I interact or converse with someone my ego is looking to express itself, improve itself, or impress someone else. It is so god damned exhausting.
I would much rather go somewhere and be in silence.
But does authentic conversation exist? Is there such thing as a direct verbal interaction between two souls?
Perhaps this is why I am drawn to spiritual texts. I don’t feel the undertone of any identity based agenda. It has a beautiful way of disarming me. And there is no interacting with a book!
So what is your recipe for surviving the day to day interaction of ego’s? Or perhaps you don’t mind it like I do. I hope the recognition of this complex dance of ego’s is a big step towards transcending it some day.